That Little Voice

Although I don’t consider myself a religious person, I am quite spiritual and do believe in higher beings of love that listen to us when we pray. That’s why before going to sleep at night, after a long day of work, I take a few minutes to connect and show gratitude. I generally begin by thanking God for all the gifts in my life. The health, happiness, safety and longevity of my family, friends and pets come first. Then I pray for all the suffering in the world to end, from abused children and animals to war-torn communities to starving people around the globe. I ask God to please help enlighten the people who use religion as an excuse to hate instead of love, and to rip people apart instead of bringing them together. I also thank my loved ones who have passed, for I believe they have a hand in many of the good things that have come my way. And of course, if anyone I know is sick or in emotional distress or crisis, I say special prayers for them, too.

I’ve repeated this bedtime practice for many years, but I’ll never forget the night, when just after uttering my prayers, something wild and completely unexpected happened—someone answered! It was just a brief few words that I heard—a question actually—but it stunned me nonetheless. In my head, after once again directing my prayers at others, I heard a loving voice say, What about you, Bonnie?

I recall my eyes shooting open wide, wondering where it came from. It wasn’t my roommate, who was the only other occupant of the house, of that I was sure. So was it an angel? A passed loved one? My own evolved spirit? One thing was for sure, I knew it was not coming from my own thoughts. You see, I always thought prayer should be about others and about trying to better the world. I thought it was too selfish to pray for things I may have wanted, since unlike so many others, I had most of the things I needed. So where did this comment come from? There was only one answer that made sense to me. Some higher being was letting me know it was okay to wish for even more abundance.

From then on, I’ve added to my prayers things that would even more greatly enhance my life: a truly fulfilling job; a loving man to share my life with; true contentment and love—all of which have been answered. And when I was laid off from that fulfilling job a few years ago, I had a surprisingly good outlook. Probably because I felt it was God’s little kick in the side that I needed to finally finish the book I’d been writing sporadically for years. I did. In June of this year, Wedlocked: A Novel was finally published and I had no qualms about praying for its success. Amazingly, after four months of hard marketing, it actually hit Amazon’s bestseller lists, and as an added bonus, Wedlocked became an Award-Winning Finalist in its category for USA Book News’ “BEST BOOKS OF 2011”.

So this year, like every year, I’m thankful for all the usual things I cherish. But I’m also grateful that I listened to the little voice that startled me out of my prayers all those years ago. Until then, I had felt unworthy of such a wonderful dream—but now I realize somebody up there doesn’t think so, and just wanted to let me know!

7 Responses

  1. Linn B Halton Says:

    Life’s too short not to follow your dreams…. if you have a passion it shines through. But your article made me realise I never pray for things for myself either! Probably because I always feel that fate plays a big part in what happens and that’s closely followed by a mental attitude that hard work is more likely to pay off than doing nothing! However, I might throw in something for myself tonight and see if it works! Fascinating Bonnie!

  2. Vickie Adair Says:

    Great post! I don’t think anything gives us as much guidance in life as that “little voice ” in our heads. It’s always a good idea to pay heed when that voice speaks!

  3. Chris Longmuir Says:

    Lovely post, lovely thoughts, and plenty to think about.

  4. Stephanie Keyes Says:

    This is a great post Bonnie. You’re right, how often do we think about praying for ourselves?

  5. Janice Says:

    Hi Bonnie – I really enjoyed reading your very interesting post. I’ve heard of this kind of praying before and it being called ‘cosmic ordering’ – which is wishing for others and for yourself in a spiritual way.

  6. August McLaughlin Says:

    What an inspiring post, Bonnie! So glad I found your blog. Tonight I’ll pray myself to sleep, thanks to you. 🙂

  7. Holly Bush Says:

    I do nearly the exact same thing every night. I say the Lord’s Prayer and then I go through the same kind of ritual that you do. I think and hope it makes me a better person because I take a few minutes to reflect on how lucky I am.

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